Saturday, April 30, 2011

Confessions of the Ashen One

Hello again friends
I apologize for my rather sudden withdrawal.
Thinking about the incident, left me rather perturbed.

Before I absconded from this diary, I left my story in a precarious lurch, so if it pleases you, let me return to this moment.

A shuddering pain flooded my brain, filled with screeching, unintelligible language at a decibel as magnificent as jet turbines.  I was floored, near motionless, and without any avenue of escape truly.  My walker had clattered to the ground beside me, yet standing would prove to be a great chore, bedazzled and injured as I was.  It made no move to attack, nor did it speak again to me.  I realized that if it did mean harm, it would have done so.  Or rather, I had hoped as much.  I struggled to sit up, to speak further.    "My demise, you mean...you...you are here to kill me?"  I braced for the mental anguish which followed, when it finally replied.  "IT IS A NECESSARY ACTION.   THE FLAWS MUST BE REMOVED."  Pain shot through me again, I felt as if my brain bled with each statement, yet I could not stop, I had to continue. 

For sake of expediency, I will simply write out said 'conversation' without hyperbole or dramatic tension, as the assault remains on my mind as it is.

"Flaws...You wish to kill me because I cannot walk now?"
"IT IS BY DECREE."
"Decree.  You speak in riddles.  Why have you not slain me then?"
"IT IS NOT TIME."
"Then when?"
"WHEN IT IS FATED, NOT BEFORE."

On that note, he left.  I lay in the sod, grass stains upon my clothes, bewildered, and sprawled out upon the lawn.  From then, I gathered myself, stared at a tumbled pizza box that managed to land cheese down, and then sobbed from the experience.

I do not like this, I sought to confront it, and yet I find myself with more questions than before, ever with the tension that at any moment it will return, when it is fated.

I do not believe in fate, I cannot believe in it.  Fate.

I am at a loss.  I turn to you, noble reader.  What can I do?  Please, if you will it, contact me.
aspotofluck@gmail.com

Until fate descends
Call Me Nil.